


Not Quite Forgiveness

by keyboardclicks



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Davenport is everyone's Dad and he wants his kids to get along, Gen, Rated T for Taako's language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-19 22:49:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14882705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keyboardclicks/pseuds/keyboardclicks
Summary: Forgiveness wasn't something that came naturally to Taako; he would always be ready to admit to being spiteful and could hold a grudge for far longer than most.  If given the chance, he could probably hold one for the rest of his life.Davenport saw this, and it concerned him.





	Not Quite Forgiveness

Nearly two whole years had passed since The Day of Story and Song, and Taako had still barely spoken to Lucretia.  This was not particularly surprising to anyone in the IPRE, as they knew Taako and they knew him well; he was the type to hold long and harsh grudges, and as this was the angriest anyone could ever recall seeing him, there was no telling exactly how long it would be.  And, as hard as everyone tried, Taako all but refused to give her the time of day.

This became difficult, as Lucretia more or less lived with him.

To explain how this came to be, Lup and Taako at one point purchased adjoining sides of a duplex, and then proceeded to knock down the wall separating them to make it into one big house where they and their respective boyfriends could all live in relative peace and harmony.  Eventually one of the spare rooms became Angus’, as Taako realized that he had nowhere else to go during his breaks from school besides the moon and _that_ certainly wasn’t going to happen.  Then Magnus and his pack of dogs started coming over and occupying the basement, so that became his domain, and when Merle started bringing Mavis and Mookie over for overnight visits they all knew they were gonna need to do some construction.

So a third floor was built, along with an attic because everyone needed a place to store shit, and Merle started tending the garden and trees in the backyard whenever he stayed.  Davenport had his boat but couldn’t be on the water 100% of the time so they allocated one of the rooms to him. That just left Lucretia who, against all of Taako’s wishes, was invited by the rest of the crew into the house with open arms and given a room with lots of bookshelves.

Now, nobody stayed in the house all of the time; Taako, Lup, and Barry would stay at Kravitz’s dwellings in the Astral Plane every so often, even though he never went there by himself anymore, and everyone more or less came and went as they pleased due to various commitments such as being the dean of a school, training puppies, and running a (for lack of a more inclusive term) humanitarian organization.  Friends from the Beauro would come and go, as well, taking up unoccupied guest rooms whenever they were in the area. Killian and Carry made a slightly permanent spot for themselves in the attic with the use of a large hammock and some furniture Killian was able to deadlift up the stairs, and Avi really liked to chill in the basement even when it was full to bursting with Magnus and his Infinite Dogs. Everyone had a key and nobody ever really announced their intentions to stay until they got there, which meant that there could be any different combinations of inhabitants at any given time, and it was exceedingly rare for Lucretia and Taako to be the only ones home so that minimized the number of awkward interactions quite well.

The tension between them was palpable, but the world moved on.  The Seven Birds and their friends continued with life, and more or less, everyone was happy.

Davenport’s arrival one overcast afternoon was an unexpected but welcome surprise.

“The wea-wea-weather is supposed to be rather rough off the c-c-c-coast for some time,” he explained.  “I may-may-may enjoy a challenge, but I don’t think I’d even be able to re-re-rest with storm after sto-storm.  Thought I’d come and stay on d-d-d-d-dry land for a bit.”

The stutter was something he had developed not long after Story and Song, likely as a result of the massive rewiring his brain had to do after getting his memories back from Fisher, as well as the sudden reacquisition of his language skills.  It frustrated him the most during times he couldn’t get out a certain syllable or when the word he wanted was right on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t remember, but the crew didn’t mind and anyone else who met him was too enthralled about meeting THE Davenport that they never mentioned it, either.  Some of the crew wanted to feel bad for him, for all the time he had spent as a joke and all the disrespect he had been shown, but Davenport was a proud man who did not take kindly to pity.

“I am still your ca-ca-ca-captain,” he had said, eyes hard.  “I am the same m-m-man that I was b-b-be-before.”

So that was that.

On the day he arrived to the house, by some miracle only Taako appeared to be home.  While he was meant to be reading and filling out various forms for his school (approving syllabuses, filling out textbook order requests, etc), it was hard to say whether or not this was being accomplished.  There were certainly many papers, and some of them appeared to have been filled out with signatures, but upon Davenport’s arrival Taako was dozing lazily on the couch with his hat tipped over his face.

“Your work ethic i-i-is slipping,” Davenport jested as he passed by.

“Just giving the eyes a little rest,” he explained, not moving his hat.

Davenport hopped up onto an unoccupied part of the sectional, looking at Taako with an amused smile.  “And how lo-lo-long would you say that break has b-b-been going for?”

“Who knows, my man?  Time is an illusion.”  He yawned, finally taking his hat from over his eyes.  “But if I had to give a rough estimate, I’d say about two hours.”

They both laughed a bit.  Davenport asked if anyone else was home, to which Taako shrugged and pretended to be interested in one of the papers he had only moments earlier been feverishly avoiding.  There was a slight, disdainful curl of his lip which everyone by now was well familiar with.

“I assume she’s up in her room?” Davenport asked.

“Fuck if I know, I’m not her keeper.”

“I’ll take that to me-me-mean you still aren’t on good terms with her.”

“Hit the nail on the head with that one.”

Davenport frowned, lacing his fingers together in his lap.  “Don’t you think it’s been a r-r-ra-rather long t-t-time?”

Taako looked at him over the top of the paper and said, flatly, “Two year's not even a fifth of how long she had my memories for, so no, I don’t think it’s very long, at all.  Maybe once we can call it even I’ll think about reaching out again.”

Davenport’s eyebrows raised up to his hairline.  “Are you honestly willing to hold a grudge for twelve years?”

“ _At least_.”

He sighed.  “Taako, do-do-don’t you think that’s a little bit harsh?”

“Nope.”

“Not even a _little_?”

The wizard set down his very important school document with a huff, looking his Captain straight in the eye for the first time since he’d arrived.  “Considering she effectively destroyed my life by making me forget about the only people in it who have ever mattered to me, uh, no, I don’t think it’s harsh at all.”

He didn’t want to talk about this.  He especially didn’t want to talk about this with Davenport, of all people, because that man was one of the only people in any planar system who could make Taako feel small and vulnerable, and that was a _very_ bad feeling.  But because his mouth never did know how to stop talking, he crossed his arms over his chest and continued, “She took everything from me and honestly?  I don’t see the big deal in not wanting to forgive her.”

“She t-to-took everything from _you?_ ”  Davenport did not slouch, but he sat up even straighter and knit his face into a frown.  “Taako she-she-she took everything from _me!_  I don’t want to s-sou-sound like what happened to y-you wasn’t ho-ho-horrible, but my-my-my-my mi-mind was almost nothing but s-s-s-”  He scrunched his face up, searching for the word that just wouldn’t come until it finally broke through. “-static for twelve years! I can I can I can still h-h-hear it sometimes, and it scares me!  My own n-n-name leaves a sour taste in my mouth!”

Taako sat up, too.  “Yeah, exactly! That shit she pulled was like, the worst thing ever!  And if we hadn’t showed up and gotten the artifacts back we might all have gotten swallowed up by the Hunger!  Like, these weren’t her decisions to make! Why should I have to forgive her?”

“If I can continue to have a relationship with her despite what happened,” Davenport responded calmly, “the-the-then so can you.”

“Hah!”  The laugh was biting and cold, an almost unbearably harsh sound coming from Taako’s high, melodic voice.  “No thanks, hombre. The Forgiveness Train ain’t scheduled to leave Taako Station in the next ever. Maybe come back and check the schedule in a couple of years.”

“Most of us have already forgiven her,” Davenport continued to try.

But Taako was unphased.  “Listen, I am willing and able to admit that you are a better person than me, Cap’inport, because hell I mean most people are.  Everyone’s trying to get ol’ Taako to forgive Lucretia just because they did, but I’m not ready to forgive her for _shit.”_  He suddenly wished for a glass of something, _anything,_ even _water_ because he could easily transmute it to something strongly alcoholic before it reached his mouth.  Unfortunately, or fortunately for everyone who wasn’t Taako, he had nothing.

Davenport’s frown was hard, etching deep creases into his face and making his countenance look far darker than any gnome’s ever had.  The kind of silence between them was that of two people who knew that, pretty much no matter what they said, they were going to anger the other and neither was quite sure they were ready to take that plunge.  But Taako, in his frustrated state, lacked enough tact to take this mood seriously and said, “So fucking thanks, or whatever, but just because everyone else is ready to be all buddy-buddy again doesn’t mean I give a shit and-”

“Y-y-you will _not_ speak to me that way!”

Taako jerked, his previously relaxed posture straightening into a rigid, straight-backed sitting position with hands tightly gripping the brim of the hat he had still not replaced on his head.  Even his chin raised up so he was looking straight ahead. That was Davenport’s Captain Voice, and even with the stutter it basically gave him a +18 to _all_ intimidation roles.  He didn’t use it often, but when he did…

The gnome stood up from his seat on the couch, stepping to stand in front of Taako with his hands clasped behind his back and a deep frown set on his face.

“Listen to me,” he started.  “I am your ca-ca-captain; that has not changed, nor w-w-w-wi-wi-will it ever, and I am instructing you t-t-to listen a-a-and take what I am going to say very serio-serio-seriously.  Understood?”

Taako nodded.  He was keeping his gaze above Davenport’s head because that was less terrifying than looking him in the eye.

“Good.  What I’ll say first is that life is much-much-much too short to ho-ho-ho-hold a grudge like this, Taako.  And no, I’m not talking about my life o-o-or your life, I’m talking about Lucretia’s. She-she-she is a human, and in all likelihood will not make it to a hundred years old, possibly not even n-n-n-ni-ni-ninety or eighty.  She isn’t the same y-yo-yo-young lady she was on the Starblaster; she spent twelve years trying to solve an impo-po-po-impossible problem and sacrificed another twenty in Wonderland. She’s _old_ now, Taako.  Do you rea-rea-realize how old fifty five _is_ for a human?”

He did.  Taako’s jaw set, and he said nothing.

_“Well?”_

Gods but Taako hated the Captain Voice.  He sighed, and through gritted teeth said, “Yeah, I know.”

Davenport nodded.  “And I know you can hold a-a-a grudge, Taako; I once saw you refuse t-t-t-to ta-talk t-t-to Magnus for an entire cycle because he ruined your souffle.  I’m sure that, if you wa-wa-wa-wa-wanted, you could go on being angry with Lucretia for the rest of your life with n-n-n-no problem.”

“Like I said,” Taako grumbled, “I was only planning on ten more years.”

“And, if we’re lucky, Lucretia will still-still-still-still be here in ten years.”  Davenport’s voice was softer now, and he placed a hand on Taako’s knee. “I know you feel betrayed by her, and believe me, so do I.  But don’t let it fester, alright? It’ll turn into something ugly and horrible, and you don’t need that. Don’t let yourself be angry for so long that you never get the chance to make up.  You don’t want that on your conscience.”

With what courage he had, Taako tilted his head to look Davenport in the eyes.  He didn’t look angry, like he expected; only sad, and worried, and tired. This was their captain, their leader, the tip of their skein, leading the other birds into parts unknown and promising to take the brunt of any danger they may come across.  The one who rallied them in their hardest times and comforted them in their lowest moments, even when he felt just as distraught because it was his duty as a captain to be strong for his crew.

Taako wondered if he was being strong now.

“...How can you forgive her?” he finally asked, looking away.  “I know you… I know it’s not something you like to talk about, cha’boy gets it, but… she made your life fucking awful for a long time. I mean, you were pretty much a laughing stock and nobody took you seriously, like, at all.”

Davenport grimaced.  Taako continued.

“How can you just… _forgive_ her for that?”

He was quiet, looking to the floor with a set jaw and furrowed brow, his hand still on Taako’s knee.  Eventually, without the Captain Voice, he answered, “Maybe it’s not that I forgive her. I’m n-n-n-not sure I ever can.  But I don’t want to let that anger r-r-ru-ruin the rest of my life, you know? So I’m okay with m-m-moving past it.

“After being around all of you for a hun-hun-hundred years, I li-like to think I know you p-p-p-pretty well, so I know Lucretia did bad things with good intentions.”  He sighed, rubbing he bridge of his nose. “All of you are… really impo-po-po-portant to me. You’re my family. I don’t wanna let this ru-rui-ruin that.”

The quiet which came after that was thoughtful and deep, each of them taking in the magnitude of what had been said.  After a few moments Davenport patted Taako on the knee in a fatherly gesture, then turned towards the staircase, or one of them since there was one on each side of the house.  “I think I’m g-g-g-going to go have a bit of a rest. Ge-ge-getting here was pretty tiring.”

“Yeah, go on ahead,” Taako nodded.  “You room is still your room.”

Only a few steps up he was stopped, though, when Taako called, “Hey, uh, you’d probably know better than I do; is Lucretia’s favorite dinner still that spinach and cheese ravioli?”

Davenport smiled, just a bit.  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it is.”

Taako nodded.  “Cool, cool. Thanks, boss man.”

The stairs had been modified to take his and Merle’s short legs into account, but Davenport took them slowly anyway.  Halfway up he heard Taako get up from the couch, and then a clattering started in the kitchen. There was some muttering and he swore he heard something like, “She’d better fucking appreciate it… Gonna make the best damn ravioli she’s ever had, just you watch…"


End file.
